Nagging Parents? lots of random notes here May 28, 2007 which need to be resorted + clarified
"Nag" is often defined: "to annoy or irritate with persistent fault-finding or continuous urging." When you google "nagging parents," you'll get over a million hits, but notice that the concept goes both ways: its meaning depends on who is using the term, and who is being annoyed, on who is doing the nagging and who is getting nagged!

About the situation and context. About intent and consequences, and about techniques (of repetition and omission), about who is "framing the issue" -- Journalists and Aristotelians take note: Who, What, Why, When and Where, and How)

Do parents often repeat the same things? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Why? Because kids -- as receivers -- do not pay attention, do not respond

Nag, nag, nag? No, no, no! Persuaders do not nag. They reiterate for clarity and emphasis. They repeat and restate. They reinforce, positively.

advertisers spending millions (nay, billions) to get our money or time What goes around, comes around.) tit for tat, quid pro quo.

intent and consequences -0----- framing the issue

Useful illustration about some parallel relationships between repetition and omission, how universally human it is, and how quickly kids -- the little rascals -- learn such persuasion. Intuitively? or learning from others? Previously, I proposed a basic premise about persuasion: People commonly intensify (by repetition, etc.) and downplay (by omission, etc.). and have offered two basic axioms to counter persuasion: #1 When They intensify, downplay #2 When they downplay, intensify.


Axiom One: When they intensify, downplay ||| Axiom Two: When they downplay, intensify.

Axiom One: When they intensify, downplay

Some possible responses to counter those who keep urging (positively) or attacking (negatively)

Omission: ignore them, silence, non-response
Diversion: Ask your (father) (mother);change the subject
Confusion:

Note these responses are possible, but not always appropriate: consider intent and consequences

Axiom Two: When they downplay, intensify.

Some possible responses to counter those who won't respond

Repetition: Keep asking, simple constant repetition.
Association: link your plea with something they already want, like
Composition: vary the tactics, strategy

Parents' last stand: abandon persuasion, use coercion. "BECAUSE I SAID SO... Yelling, Whack!

Kids' last stand: tantrums, emotional rage, crying

Note these responses are possible, but not always appropriate
: consider intent and consequences

trying to get us to spend our time or money (usually money) on their trying to get us to spend our time or money (usually time) on their

If you are still alive and able to read this, it is partly due to your parents frequently repeating warnings (Look both ways before you cross the street. Don't stick your finger in the electric sockets. Avoid eating your own excrement.) often expressed loudly, forcefully -- indeed urgently. If you are still welcomed or tolerated in social settings, it is partly due to your mother and father frequently repeating instructions (Sit up straight at the table; Do not pick your nose in public; Do not make those vulgar noises.) or silently suggesting them, non-verbally, by raised eyebrows, pursed lips, and ominous stares.

intent and consequences

Good intentions? By whom? By parenrs? Teachers? Advertisers? Other outside persuaders?

It's impossible to know another's intent, but assume that most parents intend to help their children stay alive, thrive, and prosper by offering guidance to help their kids get the good and avoid the bad. (I'm only trying to help... for your own benefit... you'll appreciate it later)

 

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persisent fault-finding:: complain, hassle, scold, attack, disparage, denigrate, run down

(Some parents and teachers - often unwittingly - are this way. The recent "Building self-esteem" movement tries to counter criticism with praise; often this is seen as part of a cultural war by those who uphold rigid high standards, "character building" and "tough love" vs softies, wishy-washy,spineless, overprotective
Lakoffs 2 kinds of family metaphors --- Focus on the Family stuff - Dobson?

Some persisent repeaters, advice-givers, see their efforts as to encourage, urge, exhort, implore, entreat, beg, advise, incite, suggest, recommend, advocate, beg, plead with, coax, prod, push, prompt, spur on.

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ignore, stonewall, tune out, snub, slight, shun, spurn, repulse, pay no attention, turn a blind eye, turn a deaf ear

 

WAYS to negotiate, moderate. go half-way downplay the emotional, increase the rational, etc.